Archive for February 3rd, 2012

Posted on February 3, 2012 - by Nurse Virginia

WHEN THE ELDER WITH ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE NO LONGER RECOGNIZES THEIR FAMILY

WHEN THE ELDER WITH ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE NO LONGER RECOGNIZES THEIR FAMILY

Now it has happened to me my mother doesn’t always recognize me. After visiting my mother Verona in a nursing home, where she has lived for the past 12 years, at times she looks at me with a blank stare. She tries and struggles with the information I give her to try to tweak her memory. But if I turn and talk to anyone else in the room, I have lost her and have to start all over. “Hi, Mom, it’s Ginny,” always said with a big smile.

Sometimes she will smile as though this is the first she has seen me, having forgotten already that I have been sitting next to her for the last hour talking, singing and reading to her. It is like I just walked in, and this is the first she saw me, and we start all over trying to remember who I am.

(Book excerpt from: Please Get To Know Me – Aging with Dignity and Relevance)

It was a winter’s afternoon, and I felt the need for a little sugar rush to get me through the rest of the day. I went down to the vending area in the employee cafeteria. There sat the son of one of our elders, who was a frequent visitor. I asked if he was coming or going.

“I’m trying to come,” he said.

It seemed as though every time he visited, he had to go to the cafeteria for a few minutes and emotionally ready himself for the visit with his mother, whom he loved dearly. “She’s in the late stage of Alzheimer’s disease and no longer recognizes me,” he said. It was obvious that hurt him deeply.

Many books have been written about the long, painful loss of a person to Alzheimer’s disease. But while that is certainly true, it is also true that during this time of loss the ongoing life of the person continues. Visiting with a person afflicted with Alzheimer’s disease becomes more of a connection than a “visit.”

Even elders in the late stage of dementia can usually recognize someone as a friend. Make eye contact, get on the same level as the elder, and speak the person’s name and smile while you communicate. Even something as simple as touching the elder’s hand while you talk can bring his or her attention to the speaker.

While communicating, incorporate as many senses as you can; hearing, seeing, and touching will make a connection even in the late stages of the disease. Although the elder may no longer recognize you as a spouse or child, your body language will communicate to the elder that she knows you. (End of book excerpt)

I find myself more and more grateful for the wonderful staff that take care of my Mom. The people, who say her name, tell her who they are and what they are going to do to help her. The staff that always smile at her and give her the comfort of knowing that she is with people who know her.

One day a couple of years ago when she was having trouble remembering something, out of the blue she turned to me and said, “I’ll never forget you, Ginny”

But there is one she never forgets. Just say the name of “Jesus” to her, and the staff will tell you, Verona remembers.

Virginia Garberding R.N.

Director of Education, The Wealshire, Lincolnshire, Illinois

Author:  Please Get To Know Me – Aging with Dignity and Relevance

www.pleasegettoknowme.com