Archive for July 21st, 2010

Posted on July 21, 2010 - by Nurse Virginia

WHEN THE ELDERLY PARENT SHOULD NO LONGER DRIVE, HOW TO TAKE AWAY THE CAR KEYS

(Part I)

A friend came up to me recently and said her father had failed his drivers test and was so angry. He was now refusing to stop driving, what should they do? Family members have such a difficult time telling their parent they should no longer drive. Driving is such an emotionally charged subject. This is the person who taught you to drive and now you are telling them they are unsafe.

When my Dad needed to stop driving we knew. He had gone into a ditch that winter while driving after dark. When you rode with him as a passenger, you were aware that other drivers were honking their horns at him, and you assumed he wasn’t staying in his lane. We asked his physician to intervene and he notified the state.  Dad was then notified of a need to take a driver’s test. Even though I got him a copy of “Rules of The Road” that he studied, and then I tested him on those “rules” every Sunday when I visited. When the fateful day came Dad, failed the test.

(Book excerpt)

When Dad went through his journey with Alzheimer’s disease, we started where most families start-the awareness that Dad was no longer safe to drive his car. “How can we get him off the road?’ we asked each other.

Mother had already had a stroke and lived in a nursing community. The plan was to move her to a place where Dad could also have an apartment and no longer had to drive. That plan worked out very well, and soon after the move we got rid of the car.

Dad recruited a little band of volunteers on whom he called when he needed transportation. Although the loss of his independence was a serious adjustment for him, he joked that it took a village to get him to church, the Bible class that he still taught at another nursing community, his barber, the grocery store, and the doctor. Dad wasn’t shy about asking for help. (After his death, those volunteers introduced themselves to us at the funeral as Dad’s drivers. Each told us how much he or she had enjoyed the time spent with him.)

(Book excerpt from: Please Get To Know Me- Aging with Dignity and Relevance)

Virginia Garberding, R.N.

Director of Education, The Wealshire, Lincolnshire, Illinois

Author: Please Get To Know Me – Aging with Dignity and Relevance

www.pleasegettoknowme.com