Posted on April 2, 2009 - by Nurse Virginia

CAREGIVER TIPS: When the elder suffers the embarassment of incontinence.

The shame of incontinence.

  Her family told us that for the last few years their mother had refused to wear any incontinent product. She collected and sat on piles of newspaper at all times. This had become her normal to a point where she became very angry when anyone even suggested that she was incontinent. During her time with us, she could be seen wheeling around the community searching out discarded newspapers.

 Even after we had successfully convinced her to wear “pull-ups” that we always referred to as “her underwear”, she continued to collect and sit on newspaper. 

4 Things to remember when your elder is incontinent.

·                     Make sure the person drinks an adequate amount of fluids. Many people as they begin to have incontinent problems think it will be better not to drink too much, and start restricting their fluids. 
 

·                     Be careful what you call the incontinent product you use. The word “diaper” is only used with babies. Refer to incontinent products as underwear, underpants, boxers, any adult term that doesn’t make the person feel they are being treated like a baby.

·                     Take the person to the bathroom at regular times. Right when they get up in the morning, right after all meals, before they go to bed and any time you can tell by body language that they need to use the bathroom. This could be facial or body gestures of discomfort or anxiety.

·                     Be very careful in your response to incontinent episodes or toileting. It is much easier for the person you care for if you have a very matter of fact attitude.

 I remember a retired nurse I once cared for. She asked me if I knew why when the staff came into “change her diaper” at night she always kept her eyes closed. I had always assumed it was because of the staff having a light on to see what they were doing. And that the light had bothered her eyes. She told me “No, I don’t want to see the faces of the people who have to do such a humiliating thing for me.” 
Incontinence is hurtful at any age.